


Living in the Layers

by SharetheMoon



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2018-01-14 06:11:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1255807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharetheMoon/pseuds/SharetheMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ashlyn meets Ali for the first time, she can't stand her. The second time they meet, Ashlyn gives Ali a chance and they start to uncover a friendship layer by layer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The team has gathered in the hotel's conference room for a meeting on the first night of camp.  Everyone is milling around and catching up with one another. Ashlyn is in the middle of burping her ABCs for Heather when she looks up to find an unfamiliar face judging her big time. She doesn't let it deter her, though. Ashlyn is maybe more than a little proud of her ability to belch the entire alphabet in just two burps. She is aware that some might attribute her talent as that belonging to a hick from the South, but it's been her go-to party trick since forever and she never stops thinking it's funny.  When she and HAO stop laughing and high-fiving, they take a seat in the row in front of the beautiful, albeit judgmental brunette seated with Megan.

Coach Pia enters the room and is busy talking over last minute details with the other coaches. The conversations among the players are quieter, but Ashlyn can't help overhear the one Megan is having with the girl sitting next to her. "I just flew in from Frankfurt yesterday," she says to Megan, "and I stayed at a family friend's place last night in Beverly Hills."  It's the way she says it, as if she's some jet-setter, that gets under Ashlyn's skin. Her mumble and nonchalant way of speaking may come off to others as self-deprecating, but Ashlyn thinks it's this girl's thinly-veiled attempt at covering her pride. Ashlyn rolls her eyes and forms an opinion about the girl almost immediately...stuck up and shallow.  Thankfully, Pia calls the meeting to order and "the annoying one" is silent for the next hour.

 As soon as the meeting adjourns, Ashlyn checks her phone and overhears Megan mention how much she likes the girl's necklace. "Is it real?" Megan asks. "Yep, 24-karat. My dad gave it to me for Christmas."  _Privileged._ That's another word Ashlyn adds to the list of adjectives she's amassing to describe this piece of work behind her. After a few minutes, she's had enough. She lets out an exasperated sigh loud enough for Megan and  the girl to hear. She then turns halfway resting her arm on the back of the chair and shoots a quick look at the girl which communicates her annoyance.

"Hey, Ash," says Megan. "What's up?"

Ashlyn turns her attention to Megan and the girl notices her facial expression changes completely. "Hey, Pinoe," she says with a smile.

Megan motions between Ali and Ashlyn and asks, "Have you two met?" They both shake their heads. "Ash, this is Ali Krieger." Ashlyn keeps her hands in her pockets and lifts her chin a little to acknowledge Ali, but she doesn't change her expression or shake her hand. Ali thinks Ashlyn looks smug. "Ali, this is Ashlyn Harris," Megan says as she moves her gaze from Ali to Ashlyn. When she and Ashlyn make eye contact, Megan gives her a quizzical look as if to ask 'what gives'.

"Charmed, I'm sure," Ali says while extending her hand like a princess expecting her subject to kiss it. She means it to be a joke, but it's clear from Ashlyn's expression that it's done nothing to ease the tension that exists for reasons Ali cannot for the life of her figure out. Instead, it only solidifies Ashlyn's opinion of her.

"Riiiight," Ashlyn says without taking Ali's hand. "Well, I think I'm gonna turn in early," she says to Megan as she motions to the door and then turns to pick up her things from her seat.  Ali watches as Ashlyn glances back at her again and notices that the stern look from before is back. "Later," Ashlyn says flatly.

She's not uptight by any stretch, but Ashlyn really doesn't have patience for people who think they're better than her. She's from a small, unpretentious beach town in Florida and while she's a standout there - a local celebrity actually -  she doesn't act that way.  She's always considered herself and those in her family as salt of the earth kind of people  - real, dependable, and selfless.  The kind of attitude she thinks Ali displays wouldn't fly in Satellite Beach and it certainly doesn't fly with Ashlyn.

 _That look!_   It's not a look she's used to getting, especially from a teammate. Ali is well liked by just about everyone. There isn't anyone that isn't drawn to her infectious laugh, ready smile and love for life. That's why it bugs her.  Ashlyn doesn't even know her, but she seems to have already formed an unfavorable opinion of her.  It doesn't sit well with Ali and she decides right away that she doesn't like Ashlyn.

 _________________ 

Ashlyn is late for breakfast the next morning and she skids into the dining room with just a few minutes to spare before  the hotel staff start to take down the buffet. Some of her teammates are already on their second helpings as she grabs a plate and starts to make her way down the buffet line. She notices Ali cutting ahead of her. Ali turns to her and smiles widely. "Good morning!" she says in a way-too-chipper tone. Ashlyn replies with only a "Hey." That's when she sees Ali serving the last of the scrambled eggs, Ashlyn's favorite part of camp breakfast, onto her plate just before Ashlyn gets there. Ashlyn inwardly fumes. _Selfish._ She'll add that one to the list, too.

 __________________ 

Ali and Ashlyn do a pretty good job of staying out of each other's way for the first few days of training. They have mutual friends on the team, but they've not been forced to hang out with them at the same time and Ashlyn purposely looks to sit at a different table than Ali during each meal. This doesn't mean that things are fine. In fact, if anything Ashlyn's irritation with Ali is growing.  She's even given Ali a nickname that she calls her in her head.

"What's up with you and Ali?" Megan asks at lunch on the second to last day of camp.

"You mean, TAO?" Ashlyn asks.

Megan cocks her head and asks with a quizzical look, "Who?"

"TAO," Ashlyn repeats and then takes a swig of water. "It stands for "The Annoying One."

Megan furrows her brow and Ashlyn continues, "You know because Heather is HAO, so... See what I did there?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Ash," Megan says. "She's not like you're making her out to be."

"She seems full of herself," Ashlyn says.

"If by 'full of herself' you mean kind of awesome, then yeah she's full of herself."

"I don't see it."

"You should give her a chance," urges Megan. "I think you guys would really hit it off."Ashlyn doubts very much that she and Ali would hit it off like Megan suggests, but if Pinoe likes her then she can't be that bad. Maybe she hasn't given Ali the chance she deserves.

____________________

Later that day the team has a full-field scrimmage with 11 players on each side. Ashlyn and Ali are on the same team. Ali thinks Ashlyn is a boss...not a boss as in cool, but a boss as in really bossy. She's barking orders constantly throughout the scrimmage. Ali's not used to this vocal a keeper and it hasn't escaped her attention that most of the shouting Ashlyn is doing is directed at her. It's unnerving actually and it's contributing to many of Ali's mistakes. She keeps getting beat by HAO on the outside, falling for her stutter step each time before watching Heather accelerate past her and get a cross or shot off. Ashlyn barks at her each time it happens, but she refuses to acknowledge her. When it happens one time too many and the other team scores on them for a third time, Ashlyn snaps. She marches out to where Ali is standing, grabs her by the elbow and spins her around sharply.

"Get your shit together, Krieger!" Ashlyn seethes.  

Ali is shocked by Ashlyn's aggression and can't seem to form an immediate reply. Some of their teammates see the confrontation and start to gather around them. Megan jogs over and steps in between them and pushes Ashlyn back toward her own goal. "Same team, dude!" she says. "Whatever this is, you need to stop it. Now!" Ashlyn turns to face the goal and takes a few deep breaths to calm herself down. When she turns back around, she sees Christie and Kelley patting Ali's back and making sure she's okay. Ali shoots Ashlyn an angry look over her shoulder as she gets into position. Play resumes once it's clear the commotion is over.

_______________________

After showering in the locker room after training, Ali spots Ashlyn alone near the corner packing up her things. She finally has her wits about her and decides to confront Ashlyn.

" _What_ is your problem?" she demands. 

Ashlyn stands so they're just a few inches apart. It's meant to be intimidating, but it turns out to be a little distracting. Ashlyn hasn't noticed how brown and beautiful Ali's eyes are until now. She watches a few droplets of water drip from the hair on Ali's head and trickle down her neck. She's shaken from her thoughts by Ali's voice.

"I said _what's_ your problem?"

"You. You're my problem," Ashlyn replies.

"And how am I your problem?" Ali asks with her hands now on her hips.

"Your job is to protect the goal and I was tired of cleaning up your messes all day." Ali doesn't say anything, but she hasn't moved either. Their in some sort of absurd stare-down.

"Fine," Ali says a little more calmly. "What else?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been acting like an ass to me ever since we met. Why?"

"Look, not everyone on this team has to be friends," Ashlyn replies. It's not really an answer and she knows it.

"I know, but you're friendly with everyone else except me. You act like you don't like me."

"I don't," Ashlyn admits, but she feels a little badly about it suddenly. "Sorry."

"You don't even know me," Ali says incredulously.

Ashlyn just shrugs her shoulders. "That's too bad," Ali says while looking intently into Ashlyn's eyes in a way that makes Ashlyn want to run. Instead, she takes a step back and encounters the wall. "I think you'd really love me if you'd given me a chance," Ali says before walking away.


	2. Chapter 2

"Pinoe, please!" Ashlyn begs. "I'll do anything!"

Upon arriving at camp, Ashlyn discovers that she's been assigned to room with Ali. This is a longer camp than the last, 20 days, and she's certain there's no way she's going to able to handle being in the same room with Ali for that long.

Megan raises an eyebrow and asks, "Anything?"

"Whatever it takes. You gotta help me."

"Hmm, interesting," Megan says while contemplating what exactly she'll be able to get out of Ashlyn.

"I'll run it by the coaches and see what they think. You know how strict they are on the assignments."

Megan returns a few minutes later looking disappointed. "Sorry, dude. Pia says she put you two together on purpose."

______________________

During their first day of training, Ali keeps interfering with Ashlyn - almost running into her on numerous occasions and causing deflections that result in goals. While Ashlyn isn't shouting out her, Ali can feel it's only a matter of time before Ashlyn loses it.

She's right. It's crowded in the box when they're working on set pieces. Ali is staying with her mark when she gets shoved from behind by Abby which causes her to bump into Ashlyn from the side. This causes Ashlyn to lose her balance and run into an on-rushing Carli, which knocks the ball that she's just saved from her hands and into the goal. Ashlyn lands awkwardly and is slow to get up. Ali checks on her.

"You okay?"

"No thanks to you," Ashlyn utters under her breath, but Ali hears it.

"Excuse me?"

Ashlyn stands and tensely replies, "I realize you can't help it, but you're making me look bad."

Ali's had enough of whatever this is with Ashlyn. They're so close that they're practically touching noses. Ali's eyes narrow and she says, "Believe me, you don't need me for that!"

Ashlyn's eyes are now huge and she shoves Ali. "What did you say?!"

Ali shoves her hard back. Their teammates around them are in shock. That's when the goalkeeper coach, Paul, steps in to put a stop to their fighting. They're sent off the field and ordered to meet Pia after the session.

______________

"I don't know what has gotten into you two, but we can't have it," Pia starts. "Harmony is so important for a successful team. And the only way we're going to be successful is if you two can find a way to work this out. How you treat each other is just as important off the field as it is on. I'm depending on you to make this work."

Ashlyn feels like a child because of the way Pia talks to them. She only wants good attention from the coaches, not something like this.

"Can you both agree to do that? Both girls nod.

"Good. Oh, there's one more thing," Pia says with a cheeky grin. "I'm going to need proof."

The girls exchange glances.

"I want you to take a photo of the two of you each day that you're in camp. The picture should show me that you're making me an effort and are, how should I say it, "feeling groovy".  You'll send me one photo a day. Got it?!"

The girls reluctantly agree.

________________

"Nice going," Ashlyn says to Ali as they exit the meeting room.

"Whatever. Let's get this over with," Ali replies and pulls out her phone. She and Ashlyn stop while Ali holds out the phone and says, "Say cheese." Ali snaps the photo and they review it together.

"You look too angry," Ali says.

"Uh, maybe because I am," Ashlyn replies.  

"At least let's try to make it convincing," Ali replies.

They pose again and this time they both force enormous grins. Ali thinks they look positively insane, but Ashlyn insists the picture will pass Pia's scrutiny. Ali sends it to Pia that night before bed.

 ________________

"What are you reading?" Ali inquires. She's just come into the room after avoiding doing so for as long as possible because she knows her roommate headed there right after dinner. Ashlyn is annoyed by the interruption and just shows the cover of the book to Ali without saying a word. It's Rene Descartes' _Meditations on First Philosophy_.

"Woah!" Ali says.

"What?" Ashlyn asks defensively.

"Nothing, I'm just surprised is all," Ali replies.

"What that I can read? You're not the only one who went to college, you know."

"No," Ali says calmly. She doesn't know why Ashlyn has the enormous chip on her shoulder that she does, but she's got to figure out a way to avoid it.  "No, it looks deep," she continues. She means this to be a compliment, but Ashlyn's brow furrows and it's clear she may not know that, so Ali quickly adds, "and hard."

Ashlyn thinks this is a backhanded way of saying she's not capable of comprehending something this challenging, but she's tired of this thing they're doing and so offers this: "I minored in philosophy at UNC."

"Impressive," Ali replies while nodding her head. "What made you choose that?"

Ali seems genuinely interested and this relaxes Ashlyn a little. "I think about stuff all the time," she says a little guardedly. "Like, do we have free will? What is reality ultimately made out of? Is there a god? What makes some actions morally right and others wrong? I like hearing other points of view and bouncing them off against what I think."

Ali considers that for a moment. "What'd you major in?" she asks.

"Communications," Ashlyn replies.

The look Ali gives her is one she's used to receiving when she tells people about her major, like it's a kind of cop out choice. Contrary to popular belief, though, she didn't choose it because it's one of the easiest majors. No, Ashlyn has always been driven to express herself in any way that she can. She is intense and most of the time she feels like she's too much for this world to handle. Some people in her life have confused this intensity with neediness and they've given up on their friendship with her because they felt like she needed too much from them. Ashlyn sees it differently. Her soul is actually so full and so deep that she thinks she'll drown in it if she doesn’t find a way to share herself and her thoughts with others. It's not that she takes too much from others, but rather that she gives so much that's it's too much for people to receive. That kind of openness and wholeness is hard for most people to hold for very long without getting scared of what it requires of them...perhaps an attempt at the same kind of vulnerability and depth. That's her deepest desire...someone who can take all that she is and just hold it with her.

"Hmmm, guess there's more to you than meets the eye," Ali says with a wink.

Ashlyn feels like this is the first real compliment Ali's given her and it opens her up a little more. 

"Yeah, I'm like an onion."

"Because you make people cry?" Ali says, trusting that they've reached a level of cordiality just safe enough that she can joke.

"Very funny." Ashlyn replies. "Because I've got a lot of layers."

"What was your major?" Ashlyn asks.

"I double-majored in advertising and public relations," she replies.

"Why?" Ashlyn wonders aloud.

"I thought it would be a good way to help advance important causes. I like the problem-solving and creative parts of it, too."

Ali has always been a problem solver. Her parents divorced when she was younger and, while that was one problem she most definitely could not solve, the experience helped her manage one little (or big) crisis after another. She's cool under pressure and a total team player. And she's not sure why, but the thing that most attracted her to PR was the sense of control she felt from it. Helping a company manage a blunder or scandal, to spin the facts in such a way as to get the desired, positive outcome, feels like being able to control the uncontrollable. Perhaps that, too, stems from how helpless she felt to stop her family from falling apart.

"I also like poetry and literature," Ali says and realizes it sounds like she's trying too hard. Ashlyn is studying her and a small smile is forming at the corner of one side of her mouth. "I'm just saying..."

"Onion?" Ashlyn asks, her smile now bigger than before.

"Yeah, I'm an onion," Ali chuckles.

It's a nice moment for them and it makes them, Ashlyn especially, think that maybe they can make it a few more weeks together.

 _______________

They agree to pose for another picture before bed. This time Ashlyn takes it. It's a photo to show how smart they are. Ali is looking off to the side and has her index finger touching her lips, almost like she's shushing someone, and it gives her a look of deep concentration. Ashlyn is stroking an invisible beard which makes her look either incredibly smart or like she's plotting world domination. She shows it to Ali who approves and sends it to Pia before shutting off the lights.


	3. Chapter 3

Ali and Ashlyn do a good job during the first week of camp of showing their coach that they're working on getting along, but it's no longer work for either of them. They're getting to know each other and each is pleasantly surprised to discover they share a lot in common. Ali was never really against Ashlyn to begin with, but rather was reacting to Ashlyn's dislike for her. Ashlyn is slow to come around at first, but she eventually finds it impossible to resist Ali's charm. One of the things she's discovering is how full of life Ali is.  She radiates positivity, so much so that Ashlyn swears she could glow in the dark. She doesn't know why she didn't see it at their first camp together, but the more Ashlyn experiences it the more she wants to be around Ali. 

After turning out the lights one night during the second week of camp, they lie awake talking to each other in the dark.

"Can I ask you something?" inquires Ashlyn.

"Go for it."

"Why are you so happy all the time?" There's a short pause before Ali answers.

"I'm not happy _all_ the time."  Her voice lets Ashlyn know she's smiling. Ashlyn stays quiet, so Ali continues.

"I guess I've always been a glass-half-full kind of person, even when I was little," she explains. "But it was having a near-death experience that really put things into perspective for me."

"What are you talking about?" Ashlyn asks.

"A few years ago I had a pulmonary embolism and a bunch of small heart-attacks."

Ashlyn sits up, swings her legs off the side of the bed, and switches on the light. "What?!"

Ali squints at the brightness and sits up. "I said I had a pulmonary embolism and..."

"No, start at the beginning, "Ashlyn interrupts. What happened?"

Ali explains how shortly after having surgery for a broken leg she had been at her mom's wedding in Florida when she felt short of breath and had pain in her leg. By the time she got back to Penn State, her symptoms were worse.

"My boyfriend at the time was studying to be a doctor," Ali said. "He checked my vitals and found that I had an irregular heartbeat, so he took me to the ER.  Turns out I had several blood clots in my lungs and my leg. The doctors said that if I'd gone to sleep that night without getting treatment, I probably wouldn't have woken up."

Ashlyn is wide-eyed and shakes her head. "Holy shit!"

"Yeah, it was pretty major. I spent a week in the hospital and then I had to give myself injections for six months. Ashlyn stares at her in disbelief. "Anyway, the whole thing made me realize that I wanted to make the most of every day because it can all end in an instant. I guess that's why I try to be positive and enjoy life as much as I can."

Ashlyn wants to say something, to apologize for being a jerk to her before or even to tell her that she's glad Ali didn't die, but she can't find the words.  Instead she simply says, "Wow."

Once it's dark again, Ashlyn runs the whole scenario over and over in her mind. She thinks it must have been terrifying.  She's worried for Ali even though the event happened several years ago and she’s totally healthy now. Ashlyn stays awake so long that she thinks of what she wants to say to Ali. "I'm really glad you're here," she says in almost a whisper although she's sure Ali is asleep. Ali smiles into her pillow without saying a word.

_______________________

On a day when the girls get the afternoon off, Ali chooses to go shopping with about a half dozen of their teammates. Ashlyn and Whit go to her parents’ house for lunch. They get back to the hotel before the others. When the rest of the group returns, Ali spots Ashlyn on a sofa in the corner of the lobby and heads her way. As she gets closer, Ali sees a sketch pad on Ashlyn’s lap and she sees that Ashlyn has fallen asleep with her head tilted back. She adjusts her position to see what Ashly’s been drawing – a windy beach scene with dunes and grasses in front of an expansive sea. It’s good – really good – and it tickles Ali to discover Ashlyn’s artistic side. She’s curious to see more and tries to pry the sketchbook out of the one hand Ashlyn holds it by, but even the subtle movement is enough to wake Ashlyn.

“Oh, hey,” she says sleepily.

“Hi,” Ali replies. “Can I see your drawings?”

Ashlyn looks like she might say no, but hands the book to Ali who looks closely at the dozen or so drawings in it.

“These are really good,” she tells Ashlyn who shrugs.

“Thanks.”

Ali stops at the drawing before the beach scene Ashlyn was working on. It’s a portrait of an older woman. It’s amazing and so detailed – the wrinkles on her face and the sparkle in her eyes. Before Ashlyn even tells her that it’s her grandma, Ali knows they’re related. They have the same smile. “She’s beautiful,” Ali says.

“She’s my hero,” Ashlyn tells her as they both admire the woman on the page.

"Hey, want me to draw your portrait?" Ali ventures.

" _You_ want to draw _me_?"

“I’ll have you know that I’m an excellent artist. I minored in art history.”

Ashlyn consents and hands the sketch book to Ali who gets to work right away. They talk and talk and it’s so effortless that Ashlyn wishes she’d given Ali a chance sooner.

Ali makes sweeping strokes and studies Ashlyn's face - the way her dimple appears when she smiles; how earnest she can be; the softness of her eyes when she talks about her grandma and the strength in her jaw. She wonders why she hasn’t seen how beautiful Ashlyn is until now. After a half an hour Ali is ready to make the big reveal.

“I think you’re going to like it,” she says. “It looks exactly like you.”

When she turns the drawing around, Ashlyn bursts out into a belly laugh and flops back against the back of the couch. The drawing is not so much a portrait as it is a stick figure - a smiling, stick-figure Ashlyn wearing huge goalie gloves. It even has Ashlyn’s trademark dimple. "Wow, you're really gifted," she jokes.

"Aww," Ali says shyly. "It sounds like you’re paying me a compliment."

"Well, that's the only thing you'll get paid for a drawing like that,” Ashly teases.

"Aaand, she's back," says Ali. They both enjoy a good laugh about it before posing with the drawing for the requisite daily photo for Pia.

Ali suggests that she sign the drawing, "You know, for when I'm famous."

Before bed that night, and while Ali’s in the bathroom, Ashlyn takes a look at the drawing again and reads Ali's signature:

_"To Ashlyn -_

_A real keeper!_

_-Alex B. Krieger_

____________________

On the last night of camp, the national team staff set up an activity for the team. It’s their version of the show Minute to Win It. The girls are divided into teams of two based on the roommate assignments which means Ali and Ashlyn are a team. The games are difficult and teams advance only if they can accomplish the various tasks in one minute or less. Each team that accomplishes the tasks are awarded points based on the time it takes them to do so – quickest gets 10 points and slower teams get fewer points. The staff gives the teams a few minutes to discuss their strengths and weaknesses so they’ll know which types of tasks they’ll do best.

The first task is the Drag the Cookie to the Mouth game. They start with their heads thrown back so they can balance an Oreo cookie on their foreheads and the object of the game is to get the cookie from the forehead and into the mouth without touching it and without it falling. Ashlyn takes this task and it’s a little shocking how good she is at it. It takes her only 14 seconds to get it in her mouth and even fewer to devour it.

The next task is the Toothbrush Balance. Ali insists this is right up her alley. She has to wear a baseball hat and balance a toothbrush from its brim so that bristles are resting atop the cap’s brim. Once stable, she has to walk around a table once and then bend to set the toothbrush in a coffee mug on the table, all while not dropping it and doing so in under a minute. She gets it done in 48 seconds and is one of only a handful of competitors to do it in under a minute.

The third task is Chopsticks and Marbles, a game that requires them to pick up marbles from a box with chopsticks and place them in a miso soup bowl. Ali insists this is her thing because she eats a lot of sushi. Ashlyn argues that because her family had a Chinese exchange student when she was in middle school and she taught her to use chopsticks, she should be the one to do it. She wins the argument and is surprisingly efficient at it. She gets the job done in 50 seconds flat. A-rod and Stephanie are the only other team to complete the task in under a minute which means the next game will decide the winner.

The game for the final round is probably the most difficult of the night: Go the Distance. Three ping pong balls are put in an empty glass and a measuring tape is used as a ramp. The tape is pulled out and kept at a calculated distance. The contestants have to place the balls at the top of the ramp and roll them into the glass jar at the bottom. It’s way harder than it looks and Ali will do the task for her team. She’s pitted against A-rod. Even before they start their teammates scream and cheer for them. It’s neck and neck the whole way, but Ali finally gets the third ball to go in at 59 seconds for the win. The “crowd” goes wild. Ashlyn throws her arms around Ali, picks her up, and spins around several times before setting her down and high fiving her.

The staff stages a mock medal ceremony in which Ali and Ashlyn are given plastic, gold medals with red, white and blue ribbon. “Speech! Speech!” someone yells. Ashlyn puts her arm around Ali’s shoulder and clears her throat.

“I’d like to thank the little people who've made this possible,” she says while looking right at Ali and winks. “And I think you know who you are.” Ali acts shocked. Everyone has a good laugh and starts to shuffle off to their rooms for the night.

Ashlyn and Ali ride their victorious high all the way back to their room. They agree to take their last Pia-required photo of the camp with Ali’s phone. They’re still wearing their medals and pretend to bite down on them. They both think it’s the best photo they’ve taken so far.

“Hey, can you send that one to me?” Ashlyn asks.

“It’s okay, I’ll send this one to Pia” replies Ali.

“I know. Can you send it to me anyway?”

“Ashlyn Harris,” Ali teases, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you want to be my friend.”

Ashlyn smiles and shakes her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She takes Ali’s phone, enters her number and sends it to herself.


	4. Chapter 4

Ashlyn feels out of sorts. It’s been two weeks since camp ended and even though she's surrounded by the people she loves in the place that she calls home, something's missing.  It's a nameless sense of longing she feels, the cause of which she can't quite put her finger on until she receives a text from Ali.  

**_Ali: Hey, Roomie! Miss me yet?_ **

**_Ash: Who is this?_ **

**_Ali:  Haha._ ** **_What are you up to_ ** **_?_ **

**_Ash: Not much, just hangin'. You?_ **

**_Ali: Training. We have a game on Saturday._ **

**_Ash: Good luck!_ **

**_Ali: Thanks. Hey, I have something of yours._ **

**_Ash: What is it?_ **

It takes a while for Ali to reply, but when she does it's with a photo and she's written "Guess it got mixed up in my things." She's wearing one of Ashlyn's UNC t-shirts. Her hair is down and pulled to one side. She's flashing her usual big smile. Ashlyn is struck by how beautiful Ali is, probably even more attractive than usual because she's repping Ashlyn's favorite school in Carolina blue. The photo stirs something in Ashlyn and she recognizes the longing she's been feeling.  She misses Ali. The idea is absurd and Ashlyn knows it. A month ago, she wouldn't have believed it possible, but here she is staring at Ali wearing her shirt and all she wants to do is be near her. Ali exudes a warmth that does more for Ashlyn than even her beloved Florida sunshine can.

**_Ash: Um, yeah, I'm gonna need that back. ;)_ **

**_Ali: Next camp or should I send it?_ **

**_Ash: Next camp if we're both called up; send it if we're not?_ **

**_Ali: Sounds good. Don't be a stranger, ok?_ **

**_Ash: You, too. Bye._ **

Ashlyn looks at the photo for a long time afterward, along with several others taken of them at camp. There's one photo in particular that Heather took of them that makes her stomach flip to look at now. It's of Ali with her head thrown back in the middle of an uproarious laugh. She has her hand on Ashlyn's shoulder and Ashlyn is leaning toward her, looking at her face and laughing, too. She inwardly chides herself for being so wrong about Ali, for judging her so quickly. And she realizes that this wanting for Ali isn't the kind of thing one has for a roommate or a friend. Nope. She's got a crush on Ali Krieger.

________________________________

As Ashlyn lies in bed the next morning, she replays an extremely vivid dream from which she's just awakened. In the dream, she was trying to get to Ali. She'd entered a large skyscraper through its revolving doors. She stumbled into the foyer and saw its high ceiling and windows through which sunlight was streaming. Ashlyn wasn’t wearing her contacts and had lost her glasses so everything was blurry and she couldn't pick out Ali amidst the crowd because of it.  She called out to her several times but there was no answer. That's when she saw a bright light across the foyer. She walked toward it and realized as she got closer that it was Ali. The light was coming from her body, her heart to be precise. When they were face to face, Ashlyn looked closer and could see all four chambers of Ali's heart consumed with light. She reached out and placed her hand over it, light spilling out between her fingers and blinding her eyes. She placed her other hand over it trying to cover the brilliance. Even with both hands, though, Ashlyn couldn’t stop the light pouring from Ali’s heart. That’s when Ali wrapped her in a hug and Ashlyn reciprocated. When Ali pulled away, Ashlyn looked down to see her own heart aglow with the same light as Ali’s. That’s when she woke up.

 _What the fuck?!_   She has no idea what the dream means, but she now has a strong desire to talk to Ali. She grabs her phone from the nightstand and texts her.

**_Ash: Hey, you awake?_ **

**_Ali: Yeah, it’s only 8._ **

**_Ash: Oh. What are you doing?_ **

**_Ali: Just finished dinner. Thinking of watching a movie._ **

**_Ash: Which one?_ **

**_Ali: Sweet November with Keanu Reeves. It’s on TV._ **

**_Ash: Is that the one where he falls in love with the girl and then finds out she has cancer?_ **

**_Ali: Yeah, it’s so sad. I don’t know why, but it’s on like once a month here._ **

**_Ash: Subtitles?_ **

**_Ali: Nope. Good practice for me._ **

**_Ash: Does anything ever sound sad in German? It seems like such an angry language._ **

**_Ali: Haha. I know, right? The plot is a little unbelievable. He falls in love with her in less than a month._ **

**_Ash: What, you’ve never heard of love at first sight?_ **

**_Ali: I’ve heard of it. I just don’t know if I believe in it._ **

**_Ash: Really? That seems like exactly the kind of thing you’d believe in._ **

**_Ali: Let’s just say that I want to believe in it, but I've never seen it happen, so…_ **

**_Ash: Okay, what about a month? Do you think people can fall in love in that short a time?_ **

**_Ali: I think they can think they’ve fallen in love, but it’s probably more like infatuation than love. What about you?_ **

**_Ash: Which one? Love at first sight or the other?_ **

**_Ali: Both._ **

**_Ash: Yeah, I believe both can happen._ **

**_Ali: That’s so optimistic of you, Ms. Harris!_ **

**_Ash: Maybe you’re rubbing off on me._ **

**_Ali: Wouldn’t that be something. :)_ **

**_Ash: It really would. Enjoy the movie. G’night._ **

**_Ali: Goodnight._ **

**_________________________ **

It becomes a daily thing. They text; they call; and eventually they Skype. Ashlyn wonders at first if Ali’s just being nice because she’s the one doing most of the initiating, but now they both do it. Ashlyn thinks she couldn’t stop now even if she wanted to. This thing, this crush, feels pretty much like a full-time job for her. She knows Ali doesn't feel the same way. She knows this because Ali likes guys. And even though she knows she doesn't have a chance, she can't help hoping for one.

Ali on the other hand has no idea about Ashlyn’s feelings. She enjoys talking with her. It guarantees her at least one English conversation a day. It also makes her feel like she’s not that far from home. Even though she’s been in Germany for a few years, she still gets homesick and it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Sometimes Ashlyn wakes up late and calls Ali when she’s already in bed. She likes those calls the best because the dark somehow makes it easier to share the hard stuff – her struggles and her fears. She delights in discovering things about Ashlyn that surprise her like the time they were talking by Skype and Ashlyn found a ladybug on her sofa that she insisted on taking outside instead of killing it. It touched Ali to see her friend, usually so blunt and brash, showing such gentleness for the tiny creature and talking to it like it was a child. Such surprises make her want to discover still more about Ashlyn.

**__________________________ **

They both get called up for the next camp. Ali is more excited than usual about coming home. She’s excited to see Ashlyn. When they left the last camp, their friendship was tentative and new. Over the past three months, Ashlyn’s friendship has become one of the most stable and meaningful things in Ali’s life. Ashlyn on the other hand is nervous. To some extent she’s been able to control her crush on Ali because of the miles of distance between them. Her phone and computer help her hide her feelings. She’s sure that seeing Ali in person will surely give her away.

Shortly after getting notice about the call-up, Ali calls Ashlyn.

“ Knock knock,” Ali starts when Ashlyn answers.

“ Who's there?”

“ Alex.”

“Alex who?”

“Alex the questions round here!” Ali says with a giggle.

Ashlyn does a face palm and replies, “You did not just say that! You are pure cheese.”

“ I know. Hey, I was wondering what you’re doing after camp?”

“ Going home for a week,” says Ashlyn. “You?”

“I’m going to visit my mom in Miami for a few days,” Ali explains.

“ Cool. That’s like 3 hours from my place.”

“ I know, I looked it up,” Ali says. There’s a little bit of a pause before she continues. “Do you think maybe we could meet while I’m there?”

“Totally, or you could even come to Satellite Beach…if it’s not too far for you to drive.” Ashlyn holds her breath while she waits for Ali to respond.

“ Really? I don’t want to impose,” she says.

“ You're not,” Ashlyn insists. “I could show you all the places I’ve been telling you about.”

Ali says, “I’d really like that. I’ll send you the dates after I talk to my mom.”

“ Sounds like a plan,” Ashlyn says.

When they hang up, Ashlyn immediately begins to plan Ali’s stay. She knows she’s probably setting herself up for heartache, but she can’t help it. She’s whipped.


	5. Chapter 5

Ali arrives at camp one day after everyone else as she's the only one flying in from overseas. She's rooming with Becky who is in the room when she enters. They take a few minutes to catch up, but Ali's itching to keep the conversation short so she can go find a certain someone. She doesn't even unpack before grabbing a bag from her suitcase and heading out the door.

After hearing the knock on the door, Ashlyn looks through the peephole and her stomach knots when she sees who it is. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening the door.  When she does, she's met with a warm embrace which Ashlyn wishes she could hold a little longer, but Heather is in the room and watching them. She's been waiting to see Ali, but she's not ready to let anyone else know that so Ashlyn pulls back. "Did you just get here?" Ashlyn asks while stepping aside to let Ali in.

"Yeah, 19 hours door to door," replies Ali.

"Hi Kriegs," Heather says.

"Hi HAO!"

Ashlyn is glad that Heather is there because she's nervous and doesn't really know how to act right now. It's one thing to talk and share with Ali while she's thousands of miles away, and it's another thing to have her standing in front of her now. 

"I brought you something," Ali says as she hands the bag she's holding to Ashlyn.

"Yes!" Ashlyn says after peering into the bag and seeing her UNC shirt.  She removes it from the bag only to discover another shirt under it. She pulls that out too, unfolds it, and holds it out in front of her. It's a black FFC Frankfurt jersey with the number 14 and Krieger on it.

"Thank you," Ashlyn says. "You really shouldn't have."

"It was either that or lederhosen," Ali teases. "Besides, it's the least I could do after keeping you from yours for so long." She then looks at Heather and explains that Ashlyn's shirt got mixed up in her things at the last camp.  Heather and Ashlyn exchange a look. Heather seems more than a little amused that Ali and Ashlyn seem to actually be friends now.  Ashlyn knows she's going to get some ribbing from HAO about the new jersey. They spend a few more minutes talking before Ali heads back to unpack.

________________

Jetlag is always a struggle for Ali at the beginning of camp. After just four hours, she wakes up and can't get back to sleep. She has forgotten her book light, so she goes out into the hall to read in order to avoid waking Becky. It's 2am when she hears a door open and sees someone at the end of the hall. As the figure gets nearer, Ali sees that it's Ashlyn who is barefoot, groggy and holding an ice bucket. Her eyes are practically closed as she walks right past Ali without even noticing her. On her way back from the ice machine, Ashlyn is surprised to find Ali propped up against the wall outside her room with a book in her lap.

"What are you doing?" Ashlyn asks sleepily.

"Jetlag. Can't sleep."

Ashlyn slides down the wall until she's sitting shoulder to shoulder with Ali. "Me either," says Ashlyn mid-yawn which is a lie and they both know it. All she really wants to do is go back to sleep and she almost nods off again when Ali's voice forces her to open her eyes.

"You should really get some sleep," Ali says. "I'm just going to read for a little."

Ashlyn is exhausted and her room feels too far away now. "Okay," Ashlyn says as she curls up on the hall floor and rests her head on one of Ali's legs.  It's not exactly what Ali had in mind, but she doesn't object because she likes having Ashlyn near. It feels natural. She continues reading and eventually feels Ashlyn's head weigh heavier on her leg. She is asleep. 

Ali reads for an hour before getting sleepy enough to try to go back to bed. She lightly brushes Ashlyn's hair away from her face in hopes it will wake her. It doesn't, so she rubs her hand back and forth along Ashlyn's upper arm. Ashlyn stirs.

"Hey, let's go to bed," Ali says.

Ashlyn is momentarily disoriented. Ali stands and offers Ashlyn her hand. She opens the door and starts to enter the room when she notices Ashlyn is following her. She turns and Ashlyn bumps into her which causes her to bring her hands out in front of her to hold Ali by the shoulders. "Ash, your room is that way," Ali motions with her head. 

"Oh, right," she smiles. Before she realizes what she's doing, she leans forward and places a kiss on Ali's forehead. "Goodnight."

Ali watches Ashlyn pick up her half-melted bucket of ice and walk toward her room. "Goodnight," she calls out. She keeps watching her all the way to make sure she gets into her own room. The kiss doesn't bother her as she thinks that maybe it's just Ashlyn's way.

________________

 When they meet at breakfast the next morning, Ashlyn tries to play it cool with Ali. She remembers kissing her the night before and she's embarrassed. It wasn't crossing a line or anything, but it wasn't something she intended to do either and she's not sure if it was weird for Ali or not.  Ali greets her as if nothing is amiss, but Ashlyn sits at a different table anyway. In fact, for the next few days she goes out of her way to make sure she and Ali aren't alone together. It's just easier that way - no chance to make a mistake.

Ali notices. She notices a lot about Ashlyn, like the way she watches Ali - at meals, on the pitch, and when they're all hanging out together. It doesn’t bother her, but it does make her wonder what’s going on behind Ashlyn’s gaze.

One night, about a dozen of their teammates gather in Heather and Ashlyn's room for some games. They playTwo Truths and a Lie. It's where they take turns sharing two true things about themselves and one lie. The others have to guess which one is the lie. Ali shares these three things: "I've had a heart attack; I've been in a band; and I've kissed a girl." This gets Ashlyn's attention. She thinks Ali's got to be lying about kissing a girl, but then she puts more thought into it and decides Ali doesn't seem like the kind of girl who's been a band. That must be the lie she thinks and so does everyone else. "No way!" shouts Lori when Ali tells them she never played in a band and confesses that she's kissed a girl. There are more surprises. No one can quite believe that Rachel has shoplifted more than once, or that Hope knows every word to every song in The Sound of Music.  Everyone believes Becky won her state's spelling bee in junior high. When it's Ashlyn's turn, she can't seem to come up with anything. She's still thinking about the fact that Ali has kissed a girl. Finally she offers this: "I've traveled to more than 20 countries; I'm afraid of spiders and my first job was at a flower shop." Almost everyone guesses the flower shop, but the lie is that she's afraid of spiders.

When everyone starts to clear out, Ali asks Ashlyn if they can take a walk. She's wanted some time together since she first arrived, especially as she prepares to visit Ashlyn the week after camp. They walk around the hotel grounds and down to the pool where they sit on lounge chairs across from each other.

"Soo, flower shop, huh?" Ali asks.

"Yeah. Daisy's Daisies."  Ali chuckles at the name.  "I was 16. I made bouquets," Ashlyn explains. "I liked it because it was creative and I always got free flowers."

"For your girlfriends?" Ali asks with a wink.

"Sometimes, but mostly for my grandma." This warms Ali's heart and she eyes Ashlyn a moment longer because her expression becomes pensive. They fall silent.

"I only had one in high school," Ashlyn finally says. "Girlfriend that is."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I dated a couple of guys before that, but mostly because I thought it was what was expected of me," says Ashlyn.

"You mean you knew you were gay, but you dated guys anyway?" Ali asks.

"I didn't exactly know," Ashlyn says. "I mean, I guess I did know even if I didn't know what to name it. But then one day I met this girl and it was like, wow, that's what I want. That's why I believe in love at first sight."

"So...what happened?" asks Ali.

"She broke my heart," Ashlyn says with sorrow in her voice. Ali doesn't ask for more and waits for Ashlyn to continue. "She was the first person I gave myself to - opened myself up to completely, and it was too much for her. Correction: _I_ was too much for her."

"Was she your first time?" Ali ventures.  Even in the dimly lit pool area Ali can see Ashlyn blush as she nods her head.

"What about you?" Ashlyn asks.

"My boyfriend in college."

"The doctor?"

"Yeah, we dated for about a year."

"You loved him?" Ashlyn asks.

"I did, yeah," says Ali. "At one point I thought I'd marry him."

"Why'd you break up?" presses Ashlyn.

"Well..." Ali scrunches her nose and shifts a little in her seat. "Remember that game we just played?"

Ashlyn has to think about it for a second before it dawns on her that Ali's talking about one of the truths she shared. Her eyes grow wide and ask the question her mouth can't seem to ask.

"How....what...really?" Ashlyn stammers.

"We broke up because I kissed a girl...more than once...while he and I were still going out." confesses Ali.

Ashlyn cannot believe what she's hearing. She wants to know every single detail, but the hope that's exploding in her chest threatens to give her away.

Ali continues. "I was confused and he was threatened by it." 

"Are you still confused?" Ashlyn is dying to know.

"Nope," Ali says, but it's not the conclusive answer Ashlyn is looking for.

"Well...?"

"I want someone who loves me for me, who I'm attracted to and that brings out the best in me," Ali explains. "That can be anyone and I’m okay with that."

Ashlyn flops back in her chair, blown away by Ali's openness and the possibilities her revelation affords.

_______________

Ashlyn and Ali stop outside Ali’s room. It’s quiet and most of their teammates are asleep by now. Ali leans against the wall next to the door and says, “I’m glad we got to talk.” Ashlyn is close to Ali with her hands in her pockets. She has her weight back on her right foot and her left foot extended in front of her next to Ali’s. “Me, too.” Ashlyn says. Her heart is hammering in her chest as she rocks forward, shifting the weight onto her front foot. She notices that Ali swallows hard and looks up at her through her lashes. Ashlyn leans still closer and Ali doesn’t move, but there's something in her eyes that hasn't been there before. Is it desire? Ashlyn can't tell. She takes one hand out of her pocket and rests it on Ali’s arm. She’s seconds away from kissing Ali, but her confidence fails her and she pulls back. That’s when Ali reaches out, tugs Ashlyn back by her shirt, and kisses her tenderly on the cheek.

“Good night, Ash.”

Ashlyn unsuccessfully fights the grin forming on her lips. "Good night, Ali."


	6. Chapter 6

Ali is a bundle of nervous energy as she makes her way up Highway 1 from Miami to Satellite Beach. It has less to do with the three cups of coffee she’s downed since breakfast than it does with the fact that she’s going to visit Ashlyn for four days before returning to Germany. It sounded like such a good idea when she initially suggested it, but now she's not so sure.  In the short time they've known one another, Ashlyn and Ali have gone from practically being enemies to being friends. However, Ali felt things shifting between them during the last few days of camp. She admits she was complicit in affecting the shift by acting flirtatiously and very nearly getting physical with Ashlyn on a couple of occasions. She thinks she knows what causes Ashlyn to look at her the way she does and, to be honest, she likes it. She likes Ashlyn and not in the way she expected. 

It was a comfort to talk with Ashlyn when she was in Germany. She looked forward to it, depended on it even more than she'd realized.  Ali feels drawn to her and can’t stop thinking about whether or not this feeling is something she can trust. She's drawn to the fact that what you see is what you get with Ashlyn. There's no posing or masking who she is to win someone's favor and that, Ali thinks, makes her one of the purest and most attractive people she knows. She's also drawn to the way so many contradictions exist in one person: the way Ashlyn is both fiercely intense and also very laid back; and how she is both strong and vulnerable at the same time; or the way she can go from being childish to being soulful in the same breath. Her attraction for Ashlyn may also, just maybe, have something to do with one entirely irresistible dimple.

______________

Satellite beach lies on a strip of land that runs parallel to Florida's Atlantic Coast. To the east is the Atlantic Ocean and to the west is the Indian River. With beaches and waterfronts everywhere, it's no wonder Ashlyn hasn't worn shoes there in three months. The other reason is that the entire town fits into three square miles of land. The biggest complaint she has about her town is the number of disabled parking spaces outside of Publix and Walgreens, which is really more a reflection of Florida's elderly population than anything. Other than that it's pretty much perfect and she knows Ali is going to love it.

Ashlyn isn't nervous at all. She's excited to show Ali more of who she is and where she comes from. She wants to introduce her to the important people in her life. Toward the end of camp she was sure Ali was flirting with her and they nearly kissed a couple of times. She hopes these four days will go a long way toward increasing the chances of having their friendship become something more. 

______________

At a few minutes before noon Ali arrives at Ashlyn's house, a one-story, two bedroom, stucco home that Ashlyn described as "coastal tan" with white trim.  After greetings and a hug, Ashlyn welcomes Ali in and gives her the royal tour. The tile floor is cool on Ali's feet and she's impressed by the clean and modern style of decorating Ashlyn has done. They start in the living room where there's an art easel and a small table of painting supplies in the corner, and from which there is a sweeping view of the back yard. Ashlyn's house is on the Indian River, the west side of town, and beyond the patio Ali can see a dock at the bottom of the grassy slope. They move to the kitchen where Ali is tickled to find the "portrait" she'd drawn for Ashlyn a few camps ago hung on the refrigerator. Next, they move to the guest room.

"And this is your room," says Ashlyn. It's decorated with a beach theme so typical of Florida homes. "There are towels and blankets in here," Ashlyn explains as she slides open the closet door. "The bathroom is just across the hall and it's all yours. I've got my own in my room."

"Do I get to see your room," Ali coyly asks.

"Sure, there's not much to see," replies Ashlyn as she leads the way.

Ashlyn's room is a striking contrast of colors: the bright white of the walls and double French doors; the dark bedframe and dresser; and her comforter displaying bands of various blues and teal that bleed into each other. On the wall behind the headboard is a large painting of a blue starfish lying on wavy bands of blue and turquois pebbles. There are other paintings too, that upon closer inspection Ali discovers were done by Ashlyn. On the long dresser and the wall behind it are dozens of white frames containing photos of Ashlyn with her family and friends. Ali takes her time exploring the photos and Ashlyn is patient to answer all of her questions about the people featured in them.

"You must be hungry," Ashlyn finally says.

"Starving!"

"If it's okay with you, I thought we'd go get some lunch and then spend the afternoon at the beach," says Ashlyn.

"Sounds great!" Ali agrees. "Oh, wait...I think I forgot my swimsuit. I went swimming last night and left it drying on my mom's balcony."

"That's okay; I know a place we can buy one after lunch."

______________

Ashlyn takes Ali to one of her favorite Mexican restaurants in neighboring Cocoa Beach because it's close to the beach and close to Ron Jon's Surf Shop, a local landmark. Ali selects a few bikinis she likes and steps into the only fitting room to try them on. Ashlyn waits nearby while checking out board shorts.

"Ahem," Ali clears her throat. Ashlyn turns around to see Ali modeling one of her bathing suit choices, a black French-cut bikini that accentuates the features Ashlyn admires most.  She isn't shy about raking her eyes up and down Ali's body and it's clear she's appreciative of Ali's choice.

"I like it, too," Ali blushes.

They head to the beach next where they set up their towels and sunbathe - Ali on her back and Ashlyn on her front so she can sneak a peek from time to time at the beauty by her side. It's only April, but temperatures are already in the upper 80's. When they get too hot, Ashlyn and Ali head down to the water where they jump in the waves and swim. Ali splashes Ashlyn one too many times which makes Ashlyn chase her through the water. She catches her from behind with one hand across her abdomen and the other across her collar bone like a hug from behind. Ashlyn feels a rush of heat from holding Ali in her arms and their flesh touching. Ali feels it down to her toes. Ali calls for a truce and turns to face Ashlyn who is biting her lower lip. Ashlyn takes one of Ali's hands and plays with it just at the surface of the water and they exchange knowing grins. That's when Ali splashes her one more time and runs back up to their towels, hoping Ashlyn will follow. She doesn't. She needs a moment to cool down.

When Ashlyn returns to their towels, she stands over Ali just above her chest and drips salt water all over her. "Knock it off," she squeals, but this only compels Ashlyn to shake her head back and forth spraying even more water on Ali. She's straddling Ali, so Ali grabs her by the back of her calves and pulls her down so that she falls backwards between Ali's legs. 

"Hey!" exclaims Ashlyn who is now facing Ali with her legs resting on top of Ali's. She has her hands in back of her to hold her up and Ali notices how her hip bones peak up just over her board shorts and how Ashlyn's sun-kissed skin glistens.

“That’s what you get!” Ali says.

Ashlyn scoots even closer and shakes her head back and forth again to continue getting Ali wet, but Ali reaches out and grabs her face with both her hands to stop her. Ali brushes Ashlyn's hair off her face and rubs her thumb under Ashlyn’s right eye to remove a few grains of sand there. They make eye contact and all Ashlyn wants to do is kiss this girl. She thinks Ali may want that too, so she reaches with both hands and takes Ali's hands from her face and holds them between them.

"Do you remember when you confronted me in the locker room the first week we met?" Ashlyn asks.

"Back when you hated me?" counters Ali.

"I never _hated_ you," says Ashlyn. "I didn't even really know you."

"That was my point exactly," Ali states.

She looks down at their intertwined hands. "I'm sorry about that...for the way I acted. I misjudged you," she says.

"So you think you know me now?" Ali asks. Ashlyn nods and grins. "And?" Ali presses.

"I think to know you is to love you." replies Ashlyn.

It's not 'I love you,' but it might as well be by the reaction it causes. Ali crinkles her nose, smiles the smile that makes Ashlyn's stomach butterfly, and pulls Ashlyn into a hug. The feel of Ali pressed up against her and her breath on her neck turns Ashlyn on. She squeezes her waist tighter and Ali brings her outstretched legs up so that they're wrapped around Ashlyn who does the same. That's when Ashlyn feels Ali's lips on her shoulder. It's light, but it's a kiss and then another, and pretty soon her lips are on Ashlyn's neck. Ashlyn pulls back just enough to see Ali's eyes which tell her what she's been hoping for all along. Ashlyn leans in and tentatively brushes Ali's lips with her own. Emboldened by the fact that Ali hasn't pulled away, Ashlyn kisses her more confidently which is all it takes for Ali to respond. They spend several minutes making out while Ashlyn runs a hand slowly up and down one of Ali's sides and Ali has a hand on Ashlyn's neck. Eventually, the kiss deepens and Ali is suddenly aware they are in public, so she pulls away. Both are a little breathless and both, to be honest, a little unsure of what to do with this new development in their relationship.

They agree that they should head back to Ashlyn's. Neither one says much on the way home and only exchange periodic shy glances. Both believe it's going to be a very interesting few days ahead.

 


	7. Chapter 7

It’s not like they’re best friends or even such good friends that she’s worried about messing it up. She’s pretty sure that if it ended now, she could survive…maybe. But Ali wants to know what Ashlyn thinks about what happened at the beach – their first kiss – and she knows she’s going to have to bring it up.

They both shower, separately, and Ashlyn is already out in the kitchen preparing dinner when Ali joins her.

“Okay, we’ll see you tomorrow,” Ashlyn says into the phone wedged between her shoulder and her ear. “I love you, too. Bye.”

“That was my grandma. She’s invited us for lunch tomorrow,” she says to Ali as she slices the vegetables she’s preparing to grill.

“I can’t wait to meet her!” Ali smiles. “I know she really means a lot to you.”

“She’s the best!” says Ashlyn. “She practically raised me, you know.” When she doesn’t get a response, Ashlyn looks up to find Ali focusing on her intently. “What?” Ashlyn asks.

Ali takes a deep breath and says, “We kissed.”

“You noticed that, too?” Ashlyn jokes. Ali doesn’t laugh.

“I liked it,” Ali confesses. She can feel herself blushing. “I like _you._ I know we started off kind of rocky, but these past few months of getting to know you have really meant a lot to me."

"I like you, too,” Ashlyn confesses. She decides to lay all her cards on the table. It's not like they're best friends. In fact, their friendship is so new that she doesn't even really consider the possible consequence of losing it by confessing her feelings. She knows what she wants.

"I want us to be more than friends."

Ali bursts into possibly one of the biggest smiles Ashlyn has seen on her. “You do?”

“I really do.”

“Soo, how’s this going to work?”

“Well, how about we have dinner first and then we can go from there? We can take it slow. We just do what we normally do… and then maybe some other stuff,” she says as she wiggles her eyebrows up and down which gets a chuckle out of Ali.

____________

They enjoy dinner out on the patio and talk for a while afterwards. Once the dishes are washed, they take a seat on the couch in the living room. Neither one of them can seem to find anything to talk about all of a sudden.

“Whatcha thinkin’?” Ashlyn asks

Ali hides her smile by looking down and shaking her head. Ashlyn thinks she looks embarrassed, so she nudges Ali with her knee. “Come on, what is it?”

“I was actually thinking about the ‘other stuff’ you mentioned before,” Ali says with a guilty smile.

“Oh?”

“What kind of ‘stuff’ were you talking about?” Ali asks. She wants Ashlyn to make the first move.

Ashlyn doesn’t need more prodding. She cups Ali’s face with her hand and leans in like she’s going to kiss her, but pulls back when Ali is about to kiss her, too. Ashlyn wants to say ‘psych!’ but Ali doesn’t give her the chance because their lips are soon pressed together and they’re kissing. Ashlyn slides her hand farther back so that it’s behind Ali’s neck and her thumb massages Ali’s ear. Ashlyn wants to take her time to taste Ali and to touch her. As they kiss, Ashlyn moves her hand down Ali’s neck, over her shoulder and down to her waist to pull her closer. They’re at an awkward angle, so Ali reclines further toward the end of the couch. She’s almost lying down with one of her legs out straight and the other bent at the knee. Ashlyn lies down next to her. Ali moans quietly as Ashlyn runs her open mouth down Ali’s neck to her collar bone while she has her hand on the back of Ali’s raised thigh. One of Ali’s hands is behind Ashlyn’s neck and the other is stroking her back. It’s becoming harder for Ashlyn to take it slow as she’s completely aroused. She moves her hand from Ali’s hamstring to the waistband of her shorts. She’s about to slip her hand under the waistband when Ali stops her.

“Sorry,” Ali says in a breathy voice when Ashlyn looks into her eyes. “I’m just…”

Ashlyn cuts her off. “Hey, it’s okay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, but maybe we could slow down a little,” explains Ali. She hasn’t done more with a girl than kiss and she’s more nervous than she thought she’d be to go farther than that now.

Ashlyn kisses her on the forehead and tells her they can definitely go slow. It’s been a full day and Ashlyn has plans for them in the morning, so she suggests they get some sleep. They go to their respective rooms, but neither has an easy time getting to sleep – their minds too occupied with the thought of each other.

____________

The next morning after a somewhat rushed breakfast, Ashlyn tells Ali she's got a surprise for her. They drive east, pull up to park at the beach and rush out to the shore. Ashlyn keeps checking her watch and watching the horizon.

"Are you going to tell me why we're here or do I just have to guess?" Ali asks.

"History in the making," Ashlyn replies. Ali can see she's excited, but after looking around some more at the quiet beach and calm waters, she can't figure out why.

"I don't get it," Ali admits.

"Just wait," says Ashlyn as she checks her watch one more time and points. "You're going to want to be looking over there."

The part of Central Florida where Ashlyn lives is often referred to as the Space Coast because of its proximity to NASA's launch site at Cape Canaveral to the north of Satellite Beach. People here pay attention to launch schedules and space missions like people in other places pay attention to the traffic and weather reports. It’s part of the culture.

It's 8:56 a.m. when they hear a far-off rumble. "It's time," Ashlyn says. That's when Ali sees it: a streak of light rising in the sky. Ashlyn hands Ali a pair of binoculars through which she gets a closer looks.

"It's a rocket!" Ali exclaims.

"Actually, it’s the Space Shuttle Endeavor," Ashlyn clarifies. "Today is its last launch ever."

"That's SO cool!" says Ali as she continues to watch the Endeavor's path. "I can't believe we can see it from here!"

"I've seen lots of launches. I was actually there when the Challenger exploded in 1986." Ashlyn says. "I was only a few months old, but my dad had taken Chris and me up to the launch site at Cape Canaveral. Of course, I don't remember any of it, but it's definitely something people talk about here. They remember where they were when it happened in the same way my grandma remembers where she was when President Kennedy was assassinated."

Ali likes discovering things about Ashlyn's past. She tries to envision Ashlyn as a kid growing up here - watching launches and walking the beaches.

"Did you ever want to be an astronaut?" Ali asks.

"No, but Chris did," she says with a chuckle. "He dressed up as one for Halloween for like five years in a row."

There's a little bit of silence between them as they check the sky again and see no remaining trace from the launch. "You know, I got my name from an astronaut," Ashlyn reveals.

"What do you mean?"

"There was this woman, Ashlyn Anderson, from just south of here in Melbourne that was slated to go on one of the shuttle missions, but about a month before the launch she found out her son had leukemia."

"That's terrible," Ali says.

"Yeah, well, she gave an interview after deciding not to go and talked about how she might not have realized her dream of going to space, but the hope the dream offered would be her strength in helping her realize a new dream – seeing her son get well. Ashlyn means dream."

"That suits you," Ali says with a smile and puts her hand on Ashlyn's leg which soon slides to the inside of her thigh. "So, what _is_ your dream, Ash?"

"I feel like I'm living it right now," she replies and leans over to kiss Ali. It's so unbelievably cheesy and she knows it, but she doesn't care and she’s not lying. It's a dream to have Ali here with her. She places one of her hands on Ali's waist while still supporting herself with the other. Ali's hand is still on the inside of her thigh and that, plus the slide of Ali's tongue, is making Ashlyn hotter by the moment. She slips her hand under the back Ali's tank top and finds Ali warm to her touch. Ali's hand slides farther up her thigh and brushes against the center of her shorts which is really enough of an invitation to go farther, but they're in public and Ashlyn wants to wait until they're totally alone. With as much restraint as she can muster, she reaches down to still Ali's hand and says with a smile against Ali's mouth, "I can show you the rest of the dream later."

 ____________

They arrive at Ashlyn’s grandma's house before lunch. Ashlyn doesn’t tell Ali, but it’s really, really important to her that Ali like her grandma and even more important that Ali gets her grandma’s approval. There’s no one’s opinion that matters more to Ashlyn than her grandma’s. 

Ali knows she likes Ashlyn’s grandma the minute she’s wrapped in her embrace at the door. She’s just what Ali’s envisioned: warm, Southern and doting. And Ashlyn wasn’t lying when she said her grandma could cook! They have a meal full of Southern dishes including Ashlyn’s favorite macaroni and cheese. After lunch, Grandma shows Ali some of Ashlyn’s childhood photos from which Ali learns Ashlyn frequently put her shoes on the wrong feet and didn’t care, and had a very unique sense of fashion when she bothered to wear clothes at all. In addition to pictures, Ali gets to hear many stories from Ashlyn’s childhood: how she got a Lego stuck up her nose when she was four; how she broke her wrist pretending to be Michael Jordan when she was nine; and how she saved a friend from drowning in high school. Grandma embarrasses Ashlyn when she drags Ali to the den to show her the walls and shelves filled with photos, newspaper clippings and awards stemming from Ashlyn’s soccer career.

As the visit draws to a close, Grandma tells Ali what a pleasure it’s been to meet her.

“Thank you,” Ali says. “I bet you say that to all the girls Ashlyn brings here.”

She shakes her head and replies, “Honey, you're the only one she's ever brought home."

This makes Ali’s heart swell and she looks to Ashlyn who nods in affirmation.

____________

Ashlyn grabs the leftovers her grandma has packed for them, gives her a kiss and starts for the car. Grandma hugs Ali and says to her, “She’s a jewel, Ali. Treasure her.” 

They’re quiet on the way home. Ali replays in her head what Ashlyn’s grandma had said to her: treasure her. It isn’t hard to do. She’s discovered more about Ashlyn in her first days here than in the months beforehand and she loves what she’s seen. She’s opened herself up to Ali in a way that has Ali falling for her hard.


	8. Chapter 8

Despite a few embarrassing childhood revelations, Ashlyn is thrilled with how their visit with her grandmother had gone. Introducing Ali to the best and most important person she knows could have been scary, but it wasn't. Ali isn't overwhelmed by Ashlyn and that makes her want to share herself freely and fully. Maybe her grandma could see that, too. At one point while Ali excused herself to use the bathroom, Ashlyn's grandma pulled her aside and told her how much she likes Ali and that she has "a good feeling about this one." Ashlyn does, too.

When they get back to Ashlyn's house, she asks Ali if she can take her out to dinner that night. She's already got reservations, but it feels like this could be their first date and she wants to do it right. Ashlyn waits in the living room for Ali to get ready and can't seem to stop bouncing her knee. She's a good kind of nervous - a little bit like the way she feels before a game. The butterflies she's feeling in her stomach only increase when she sees Ali. She's dressed in a short, tight skirt with a loose-fitting black blouse that hangs off one of her shoulders. She's a vision and the sight of her momentarily takes Ashlyn's breath away.

"Do I look okay?" Ali asks.

Ashlyn can only bite her bottom lip and nod because a.) when does Ali ever not look okay? and b.) if she speaks she's probably going to say something about how they don't need to go out and can spend the rest of the night in each other's arms instead. Ali feels like she can read Ashlyn's mind which makes her blush, so she reaches out for Ashlyn's hand and leads her toward the door.

 ____________

It's a perfect Florida spring night - clear and balmy and without the insects and mugginess of summer. They drive 45 minutes north to Dixie Crossroads in Titusville, a destination for anyone coming to the Space Coast and famous for rock shrimp that taste like lobster. Ali thinks Ashlyn looks happy and beautiful. As they drive, she keeps sneaking glances of her in her navy-colored jeans and azure blue button-down shirt. Her sleeves are rolled up and reveal her strong, tan arms. Ashlyn catches her looking on more than one occasion and breaks into a smile each time.

Once they're seated, they slip effortlessly into conversation. Ali shares about her decision to leave the U.S. for Germany right after college and the opportunities it has provided her, both professionally and personally.

"I'd never lived overseas and I didn't speak any German," she says. "It was so hard at first and I really struggled. Even though it was hard, I'd still do it all over again. Those challenges really grew me and strengthened me."

"Weren't you scared?" Ashlyn asks. She's traveled more than most of her US Soccer teammates, but she's not sure she'd have the courage to move away from the people and place she loves like Ali did.

"You know, I really wasn't," Ali replies. "I think it all goes back to my health scare. It was really such a defining moment for me and I realized that life is too short to let fear stop me."

"God, I really admire you," Ashlyn says.

"Me? You're way braver than I am."

The combo platter of crab, scallops, and rock shrimp they've ordered is delivered. Ali pulls her hair up and puts on the bib that's been provided to protect her clothing. Ashlyn thinks she looks adorable - adorable like a kitten she wants to pick up and hold. But then there's also the way she looks with her shirt off one shoulder and coyly glancing at Ashlyn that makes her want to hold her in an entirely different way.

"I'm not that brave," Ashlyn admits. There's something in her expression that Ali picks up on. It's there just for a second, but Ali thinks it's a lack of confidence which isn't something she's used to seeing in Ashlyn.

"Are you afraid of something, Ash?" Ali asks. She keeps her gaze on Ashlyn, and leans forward on her elbows and rests her hands under her chin.

Ashlyn wants to tell Ali that she's afraid this means too much to her - that Ali means too much too her. She's afraid that these feelings she's drowning in will scare Ali away if she reveals them. But Ashlyn has always tried to express herself and she's fighting to find a way to do so now because it is the essence of love, just as it is the essence of fear, anger, grief, joy and so on, to speak itself. And even though it's only been a few months, she's certain she loves Ali.  She won't say that now, though. It's too soon and Ali said it herself - that she believes a month or a few months is too short a time in which to fall in love. 

"I'm afraid of how much I want this - want you," Ashlyn says. She shakes her head, inwardly scolding herself for not being smoother. She knows it's not the kind of thing you say on a first date. In fact, it's exactly the kind of thing that has pushed people away in her past. She simply can't help herself...it's who she is.

Ali reaches out with one of her hands to hold Ashlyn's. She isn't fazed by Ashlyn's confession. She appreciates it and is more than a little in awe of the way Ashlyn puts herself out there. That kind of courage is so rare and beautiful and trusting, and it makes her fall for Ashlyn even more than she has already. It makes her want to be just as brave and respond in kind.

"I'm afraid you'll change your mind," Ali admits. She feels exposed and the brief moment of silence between them isn't helping. But Ashlyn squeezes her hand and offers a smile. Ali can see her confidence is back.

"Not possible," Ashlyn says.

 

After dinner, they take a walk along the pier outside the restaurant. Ali's heart skips a beat when Ashlyn takes her hand. When they stop at the end of the pier, Ali pulls Ashlyn toward her by the collar of her shirt. She brushes Ashlyn's lips with her own. "Thank you for bringing me here - for showing me you," she says. She kisses her soundly and Ashlyn's hands find their way to her hips.  

When they break the kiss, Ali wraps Ashlyn in a hug which they hold for a long while. Ashlyn soaks up the warmth and brightness she loves so much in Ali - the thing that makes her heart feel bigger, fuller, and more open than she imagines possible.

____________

Ashlyn thinks it smells like it's going to rain. Once they're home, she makes sure all the windows and screens are shut. That's when she spots lightning bugs in the shrubs near the edge of the patio and it gives her an idea.

She knocks on the guest bedroom door which Ali soon opens. Ashlyn notices Ali has already changed and is wearing only a t-shirt and underwear.

"It's probably going to storm tonight, so I brought you a night light," says Ashlyn as she leans against the door frame and extends the gift. It's a small jar with holes in the top containing two lightning bugs.

Ali gives her a hug and peck on the cheek. "Thank you." Ashlyn catches her lips as she tries to pull away. Still leaning against the door frame, Ashlyn pulls Ali to her and kisses her more deeply. She lets her hand wander down Ali's backside until she's grabbing her ass. Just when she thinks things might go a little farther than they've gone so far, Ali breaks their contact and backs away.

"Good night," Ali says apologetically. All this teasing can't last forever, but Ashlyn doesn't want Ali to feel pressured into anything. When the door closes, Ashlyn holds the door frame on both sides and rests her head on Ali's door. Ali opens it a moment later and is surprised to find Ashlyn still there with a look on her face that makes Ali's stomach knot. She opens her mouth to say something to Ashlyn, but stops herself. "G'night," she says again.

When it rains in Florida, it really rains and this night is no exception. Along with the torrential downpour, there is thunder and lightning. as well. Ali can't sleep and it's only partly because of the storm. She gets up and walks down to Ashlyn's room. It's dark, but the night light in the hall helps her see. Ali stands in the doorway, watching and wondering if Ashlyn is awake. Ashlyn senses her presence and sits up.

"What is it? You okay?" she asks. There's another flash of lightning and subsequent clap of thunder.

"Can't sleep," she says as she crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed next to Ashlyn. "Can I sleep here?" she asks, completely aware of what it probably means.

Ashlyn scoots back and lifts sheets so Ali can slip under them and they adjust so that they're facing each other. Ashlyn is using one of her arms to prop her head up. Ali had been a second away from going further when Ashlyn came to her door. Now she strokes Ashlyn's face and says, "I want to know more about this dream you mentioned this morning." Ashlyn doesn't waste a second getting closer. "It goes something like this," she says as she slides her hand up Ali's thigh to her waist before lowering it to caress her ass. Ali responds by slinging her leg over Ashlyn's and bringing their bodies closer together. They kiss and let their hands explore each other until both are heated and wanting for more. Ashlyn can't believe she has Ali here, in her bed and in her arms. She has dreamed of it on more than one occasion and so far this is better than her dreams.

Ali rolls over on top of Ashlyn whose hands find her ass again. They continue kissing and Ali's hair falls around her face and tickles Ashlyn's. She sits up and lifts both of her hands to pull her hair back and over one shoulder when Ashlyn sits up and grabs her firmly by the sides and kisses her with more urgency now. Their tongues duel while their hands explore. Ashlyn moves her lips to Ali's neck and her hands up over Ali's chest on top of her shirt. Ali's hands are on Ashlyn's back and reaching down for the back hem of her shirt. When she gets it, she pulls at it to lift it off. Ashlyn helps her and hastily pulls it off herself. Ali looks down at Ashlyn's bare breasts and back to Ashlyn's face before reaching out to touch them. This propels Ashlyn to lift Ali's shirt up over her head and return to her breasts.

Eventually Ashlyn flips them and quickly gets rid of her boxers before descending upon Ali with increased focus. Her hands work their way down Ali's bodies across breasts and abs to the waistband of her underwear. When she runs a few fingers just under the waistband, Ali helps her remove them. It arouses Ashlyn even more than she already is to find Ali so wet when she touches her. Her fingers circle Ali and build a steady rhythm to which Ali eagerly responds. Ashlyn brings her near the edge once and then twice before Ali calls out her name, "Ash!" It's pleading and desperate. After several oh-gods and yes's later, she comes undone. She's louder than Ashlyn thought she would be who is surprised at how much that turns her on. They collapse next to one another, sweaty and spent.

"Jesus!" Ali says as the blood returns to her brain.

Ashlyn kisses Ali's jaw and then her collar bone. She's ready to go again even if Ali isn't. She licks and tugs at Ali's breasts before making her way to Ali's center. Ali is still sensitive, so it only takes a few quick tongue strokes before she's coming again. Ali has never had an orgasm like that and she's overcome with emotion. Ashlyn holds her and they cuddle for a long time afterward. Ashlyn is drifting off when she feels Ali's hand rubbing back and forth on her abs. Before she knows it, Ali's hand is between her legs. She either doesn't have the experience or the patience to wait long and inserts a finger directly into Ashlyn’s core. Ali kisses Ashlyn hard as her fingers do their thing. Ashlyn comes hard and Ali helps her down slowly. 

They fall asleep for about an hour, but the sound of thunder wakes Ali again. She looks at the clock. It's 12:47 a.m. She starts to nibble Ashlyn's ear and caresses Ashlyn's stomach before finding one of her breasts and pinching the nipple. This rouses (and arouses) Ashlyn. She's exhausted...and hungry.

"God, woman! What happened to taking it slow?!" she teases.

"What can I say?" Ali replies, burying her face in the crook of Ashlyn’s neck.

"Well, you're going to have to feed me first," says Ashlyn.

They throw on their shirts and underwear and make their way to the kitchen where they reheat Ashlyn's grandma's leftover fried chicken and mac-n-cheese. Ali sits on the counter and Ashlyn stands between her legs while they share the same Tupperware of food. As Ashlyn downs the last bite of mac-n-cheese, Ali takes it from her and sets it on the counter. She then wraps her legs around Ashlyn's waist and whispers something about wanting to do to Ashlyn with her mouth what Ashlyn did to her. That's all it takes for Ashlyn to pick her up and carry her back to her room where they go one more round. Ali, apparently, is a very fast learner.


	9. Chapter 9

Ali wakes up and the first thing she sees is Ashlyn lying next to her with the sheets down around her waist exposing her bare back and shoulders. Her arms are hugging the pillow under her head which is facing Ali’s direction. Ali thinks back to the events of the night before and it makes her body smile from the inside out. Their night together had been partly about satisfying their physical desire for one another, but it had also been about connecting on a deeper and more emotional level. In giving of their bodies they reached an intimacy Ali hadn't realized was possible. As she watches Ashlyn sleep, she thinks about how Ashlyn will always be part of her life...part of her history. No matter what happens to their relationship, they are bound by what they’ve shared here. This is a strange comfort to Ali. She’s shaken from her thoughts when Ashlyn begins to stir. She pretends to be asleep.

Ashlyn opens her eyes to find Ali at her side. She takes a mental picture to hopefully capture the image in her mind for a long time to come. She’s grateful to discover their night together wasn’t a dream. The fullness in her heart makes her recall another dream - the dream she had a few months ago when she first discovered she had feelings for Ali in which the brilliance from Ali’s heart went from being hers alone to being shared between them. She now understands the significance of it and, even though she knows it’s impossible, she looks down at her own heart expecting to see the light she feels now. She sees only her bare chest instead. Ashlyn pulls the sheets up to cover herself and continues to watch Ali sleep.

Ali opens her eyes again to find Ashlyn just staring at her. 

"Hey," Ashlyn says inching closer.

"Hi," Ali replies.

They spend several minutes just staring at one another without speaking. It could be awkward, but it isn’t. Ali thinks that as she looks into Ashlyn’s eyes, she finds her. Ashlyn thinks that if Ali looks into her heart, she'll find Ali there. They don't talk about this step they've taken in their relationship.

Ali thinks morning Ashlyn looks really sexy and she’s starting to get ideas. Ashlyn notices the change in her expression.

"What?" Ashlyn asks.

Ali shakes her head and hides her smile before looking back toward Ashlyn.

Ashlyn lifts Ali’s chin with the side of her index finger and leans in to place a tender kiss on her lips. They rub noses. Ashlyn glances over Ali’s shoulder at the clock, slumps her head and shoulders, and lets out a disappointed sigh. They’re meeting Ashlyn’s friends for brunch and will have to leave soon. She makes a mental note to pick up later where they’re leaving off now.

_____________

They meet Ashlyn’s friends at the Officer's Club at Patrick Air Force Base located between Satellite Beach and Cocoa Beach. Jess's dad is retired military, a former brigadier generalin the Army, so they have access to it. Her friends don't know Ashlyn and Ali are together. Only her friend Liz knows that Ashlyn likes Ali, but not that things have evolved.

Once there, Ashlyn introduces Ali to Liz, Jess, Haley, Jody, Jeff, her brother Chris and Jess’s brother Braden. They are all friends from high school, except Liz whom she’s known since the second grade. Ali does a lot of listening during the meal to the banter and teasing and inside jokes they share. She doesn't feel left out, though, because Ashlyn is careful to explain some of the things she otherwise wouldn’t know. They tell Ali about the "crazy shit" Ashlyn did in high school. They also share about the war of practical jokes between the girls and the guys which included Ashlyn and the girls stealing the boys’ underwear and dying them pink before writing clues on them and hiding them all over town which led the boys on a scavenger hunt to retrieve them. Ali learns that Ashlyn was always their designated driver - always taking care of her friends. And she learns something else she didn’t know – that Ashlyn spent more time in the homes of her friends than she did at home growing up because her parents weren’t around much.

Of course, her friends want to get to know Ali and they ask her all kinds of questions. She answers them all. As Ali speaks, Liz eyes Ashlyn carefully. She knows her best friend well and she hasn't seen Ashlyn looking this happy in a long time.  At one point, Ashlyn absentmindedly puts her hand on Ali’s leg and Liz knows for sure something’s up. When Ali’s not looking, she slowly and dramatically mouths “Oh. My. God!” to Ashlyn who simply nods and smiles in return.

Ali likes Ashlyn’s friends a lot. She enjoys the familiarity and history they have with one another. They aren't necessarily the kind of people she would normally seek out as friends. They lack a certain sophistication, perhaps because of how casual small town beach life is and the fact that they've never left Satellite Beach and seen the world like Ashlyn has. She's not judging them; it’s just something of which she takes note. She remembers Ashlyn's first impression of her, so her desire not to come across as judgmental probably leads to her confession from college which she refers to as the “blue flame incident.” Apparently, while surrounded by roommates, Ali once held a lit lighter a few inches from her rear end and then farted which resulted in a blue flame. No one is more floored by the confession than Ashlyn. All laugh and Chris gets out of his chair to high-five Ali across the table. She feels like she’s won their approval.

As they say their goodbyes, Chris gives Ali a hug and says, “Later, Blue Flame. Come see us again!”

"You know they're going to call you that from now on, right?" teases Ashlyn.

Ashlyn and Ali head toward the beach below the Officer’s Club, but end up sitting beside each other on the wooden steps on the way.

“I like your friends,” Ali says.

“I can tell they like you, too,” says Ashlyn, bumping her shoulder against Ali’s.

“What did they mean when they said your parents weren’t around much?” asks Ali.

“I don’t know. My parents were really young when they had me and Chris…just out of high school,” Ashlyn explains. “They were really just kids themselves and had a lot of growing up to do. They couldn’t really handle parenthood; they were always focused on their own lives more I think. That’s why I say my grandma practically raised us.”

“How’d that make you feel?” asks Ali.

“I know my parents love me, but it was kind of sad actually. That’s why hanging out at my friends’ houses was so important. It felt good to be around families that acted like families are supposed to act,” she says.

Ali loops her arm through Ashlyn’s as a way of comforting her. They stay silent for a few minutes and look out over the Atlantic, the ocean that will soon separate them. Suddenly Ashlyn wants to curse the water and waves that she loves so much.

“I don’t want you to go,” she says at last.

Ali has tried to push out of her mind the fact that she’s leaving the next day to go back to Miami before flying back to Germany the day after that. For the first time in three years, she doesn’t want to return to Frankfurt…not now that things are so new with Ashlyn. She’s never done a long-distance relationship and there will be a lot of distance between them.

“I know. Me either.” Ali says. “But there’s another camp in six weeks.” _Six weeks!_

“That’s six weeks too long,” Ashlyn laments. “And then another three months after that if I even get called up at all.”

It sucks and they both know it.

“Maybe you could come visit me this summer?” says Ali as she lays her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder.

“I'd like that.” Ashlyn agrees.

_______________ 

When they get back to Ashlyn’s, they settle on the couch where they watch the Chelsea vs. Arsenal game Ashlyn recorded earlier. It isn’t long before their lack of sleep from the night before catches up with them and they slip into a nap. When they awake, it’s late in the evening and there are streaks of pink and purple across the darkening sky.

Ashlyn had planned to go to the store for dinner food, so there isn’t much in the refrigerator. They decide to have breakfast for dinner, “brinner”: pancakes and scrambled eggs with cheese and green chilies. They move around each other like they know each other's habits, reaching across in perfect timing and getting the thing the other needs next. Ashlyn can envision what it might be like in their future; they just fit. Ashlyn stands behind Ali, one arm on her hip and the other reaching around to pick out some eggs from the pan and puts them directly in her mouth. Ali fake slaps her with spatula. Ashlyn then wraps both arms around Ali's waist while still chewing and says "nom, nom, nom" against Ali’s cheek. When they’re done cooking, they eat “brinner” on the couch. 

They play cards afterward and Ashlyn can’t figure out why she loses to Ali every. single. time. It isn’t until Ali looks over Ashlyn’s shoulder one too many times that she realizes Ali can see her cards in the mirror behind her. “Cheater!” Ashlyn screams and tries to grab Ali, but she’s already up and running down the hall to escape. Ashlyn is hot in pursuit and they end up in Ashlyn’s room where she thinks she has Ali cornered, but Ali bounds across the bed. She’s not fast enough and Ashlyn is already on the other side of the bed by the time she reaches it. Ashlyn catches her and they’re laughing uncontrollably until they're not laughing any more; they’re kissing. Ashlyn has remembered to pick up where they left off earlier that morning. It’s their last night together for a while and they make it count.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the end of the story for now. Perhaps a sequel in the future if there's interest. Thanks for reading along!

It's Ashlyn’s last day with Ali before she goes to Germany. Ashlyn lays awake thinking about it and it hurts already. The defender's head rests on her chest and her arm is across Ashlyn's abdomen. Ashlyn tightens her grip around Ali's shoulder, hugging her more closely to her side.  Ashlyn wishes she could stop time - stop today from unfolding. Ali eventually stirs when Ashlyn's stomach grumbles become too loud and too frequent.

Ashlyn gets up to get breakfast for them and when she returns she's holding two bowls of Lucky Charms cereal. Ali notices that there are only blue moon-shaped marshmallows in Ashlyn's bowl while there aren't any of that color in her bowl. Ashlyn has her mouth full when she notices Ali staring at her with one raised eyebrow.

"What?" she asks with a full mouth.

"Why do you only have blue marshmallows?" Ali asks.

"'Cuz they're the best," she answers as if it's obvious.

"How do you figure?"

"Uh, hellooo...Carolina. Duh!" Ashlyn states.

"You're ridiculous," Ali chuckles.

"Maybe, but it's true."

"Whatever," Ali rolls her eyes. "When you get to be my age, you'll see things more clearly."

Ali is only one year older than Ashlyn. This isn't the first time she's said this to Ashlyn and she does it to be funny.

"Oh, okay smarty pants," Ashlyn says. "But it's important that you agree with me on this. We don't have to share the same politics or religion or continent even, but this could be a deal breaker."

They laugh at that, but it's Ashlyn's mention of living a continent apart that turns it into a more serious conversation. Ali starts first.

"So, is this for real?" she asks motioning between them.

"It is for me," Ashlyn replies.

Ali's smile broadens and she says, "It is for me, too. Do you really think we can do the long distance thing?"

"What other choice do we have?" Ashlyn asks. Ali is relieved to know Ashlyn won't consider other options, such as this being a one-time thing or dating other people.  "I want to be with you," says Ashlyn in a quieter, sadder voice. There's something about the way she says it that moves Ali. It's honest and open and brave - some of the qualities Ali loves most in Ashlyn. 

"I want to be with you, too," Ali says as she takes Ashlyn's empty bowl  and sets it on the night stand. She intends it to mean that she wants to be with her as her girlfriend, but she also wants to _be_ with Ashlyn right now.  She puts the palm of her hand on Ashlyn's chest, pushes Ashlyn onto her back, and proceeds to remove Ashlyn's underwear and then her tank top. She removes her own clothes and lies down on top of Ashlyn. Ali stares into Ashlyn's eyes and says huskily, "Be with me." They kiss and touch until the aching between Ali's legs needs satisfying. She sits back on Ashyn's waist, debating her next move when Ashlyn tugs at her, encouraging her to scoot forward until Ali's knees are on either side of her head. Her mouth find Ali's center, as does her tongue. Ali is loving this position and she adjusts to get the desired pressure and location of Ashlyn's tongue. With her back arched one of her hands wanders behind her and between Ashlyn's legs. It surprises Ashlyn, but she's not complaining. She raises her hips repeatedly to meet Ali's hand, but  it's getting hard to multitask. After Ali makes a kind of grunt voicing her complaint, Ashlyn tries to refocus and match her tongue strokes to the stroke of Ali's fingers. Soon their rhythms are matching and they're nearing a peak together. They come at the same time and hold each other for a long time afterwards.

____________

They have no food, so they decide to go grocery shopping. As they're leaving through the store's exit, Ashlyn stops and pulls some change from her pocket to use in a few of the dozen or so coin machines with gumballs, candy and various toys in them. She gets some gum and a couple of the toys. Without looking at them, she holds both toys behind her back and asks Ali to choose a hand. They open them together. Ashlyn gets a purple butterfly ring and Ali gets a mini Norwegian troll with electric green hair. She looks disappointed, so Ashlyn takes her hand and places the ring on her pinky finger. Ali gives Ashlyn the troll. There's a photo booth near the coin machines that they step into for a series of pictures: angry; crazy; regular; and Ali kissing Ashlyn's cheek. They do two sets so they'll each have one by which to remember this time together.

After lunch, they spend a few hours sunbathing and swimming at the neighborhood clubhouse pool before showering and getting ready for dinner. They cook together and the mood has shifted. They don't talk about it, but there's a blanket of sadness there that they both feel. 

____________

It's finally time for Ali to leave and they hug at the car for nearly five minutes straight, neither one of them wanting to say goodbye. Ashlyn watches the car until it turns at the end of the street and disappears. She returns to the house and wanders from room to room, the house suddenly too quiet and too empty. She tries watching TV, but nothing interests her. She checks her phone: no texts or calls. She finally decides to go to bed, but she can't sleep. The sheets and the pillows still smell like Ali.  Ashlyn can't get rid of the ache she feels in her chest and she spends the entire night tossing and turning. 

Daylight breaks around 5am and she gets in her car and drives. Perhaps the change of scenery will shake her from her funk. There are a series of songs on the radio that don't help. Each time she changes the station, a new heartbreaker is on: _Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone; I Don't Wanna Let You Go;_ and _Can't Live (If Living is Without You)_. She feels like Jerry Maguire. And then she hears a song that gets her and she doesn't change the station. It's Avaril Lavigne's _When You're Gone_.

_I've never felt this way before_

_Everything that I do reminds me of you_

_And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor_

_And they smell just like you_

_I love the things that you do_

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take_

_Do you see how much I need you right now?_

_When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_When you're gone The face I came to know is missing too_

_When you're gone The words I need to hear to always get me through the day And make it OK_

_I miss you_

During the four minutes the song plays, Ashlyn turns south on the A1A and she just drives. She continues to drive for the next three hours until it's 8:30am and she's parked outside a Miami condo building with her phone in her hand.

**Ash: Good Morning!**

**Ali: Hey, you!**

**Ash: You should go downstairs.**

**Ali: What? Why?**

**Ash: There's a delivery for you.**

**Ali: Awww, you're such a sweetie! I'll go check.**

Ali thinks maybe Ashlyn has sent flowers or something like that to her. A few minutes later, Ali exits the building and looks around the area near the door and below the mailboxes. She's still in pajamas and is barefoot. There's no package or delivery and she's clearly confused until she looks up toward the street. That's when she sees Ashlyn leaning up against her jeep.

"What?!" Ali squeals and jogs toward her.

Ashlyn pushes herself off the car and into Ali's embrace.

"You're here," Ali says disbelievingly into Ashlyn's neck.

"I'm here," Ashlyn replies. "I hope that's okay. I missed you already.  And maybe that will get easier, but I want to spend as much time with you as I can while you're still here."

"Of course, it's okay," Ali affirms. "I've been going crazy without you and it's only been a few hours!"

"I'm also here because I need to tell you something," Ashlyn says. She hadn't planned to do this right now, but Ali is here and real and in her arms. She thinks that until she can say this thing she wants to say, she won't be able to fully experience the feeling behind it. Maybe naming it will give life to it.

"What is it?" Ali asks.

Ashlyn takes a big breath and a big leap. "I didn't know you in the beginning and once I discovered who you were, I couldn't believe how wrong I was. You are one of the most beautiful people I've ever met and just being around you makes me feel stronger and better than I think I can be. And you get me...I feel like I can be my whole self with you." Ali's holding Ashlyn's hands and smiling back at her. It's enough encouragement for Ashlyn to continue. "I don't know what's going to happen with us living so far apart, but I know I want to find out. I'm in love with you, Ali."

Ali doesn't answer right away and Ashlyn holds her breath through the entire stretch of silence.

"You love me?" Ali finally asks through a big smile while swinging their hands.

Ashlyn nods and squeezes Ali's hands.

"I told you that if you gave me a chance, you'd love me," Ali reminds Ashlyn of their confrontation at their first camp together. She wraps her arms around Ashlyn's middle and gives her a big squeeze before pulling back a little to look at Ashlyn. "I love you, Ashlyn Harris."

And that's all Ashlyn needs to know. It will cover the distance until they're together again.


End file.
